Alain Leroy is alone, looks around but can not recognize anybody… so noise, so absent, so superficial. The self destruction path is surrounded by ghosts from the past, and the only way out is the way to himself, disconnected from the world. This is the image I still see -Alain Leroy , is present in everybody and every day lives.
In the time I was involved with politics and member of a student Trotsky’s cell, life couldn´t be easier – well, from a turbulent point of view it was unacceptable dealing with selfish people who could not understand how important is the political fight , how good is to open your eyes and don´t feel regrets for things you wished could have be done even when the results were so bad . Political fight does not mean just being a member of a party or union, but the way someone sees the world and feels what is fair and what is justice.
i was totally evolved with the atmosphere where art was surrounded with the internal searching for identity, sometimes with a intense feeling that I was in a place I should not be – the jamais vu sensation, and was trying to find a meaning for my life in poetry and politics. In the poetry universe of movies and books and in the politics where relationships were based in social justice.
Reading Trotsky and being activist contributed to open a new path to my own and private tragedy once what I was looking for was just so far away from what was in the books or movies.
It is a sensation that still accompanies me specially when I open my windows and see the other side of my building – others little boxes, boxes of memories from people who does not know their neighbors, people who shows angrier faces to immigrants, to the supermarkets Cassa, to the postman… does not matter, people bored with their own lives.
What made me remember Alain Leroy – and I remember him now and again was the way he saw his personal desperation -for changes- and he did not find it with or without alcohol , it did not matter, for him or for anybody else who saw Le Feau Follet (Louis Malle), what I mean, if you think you can erase your melancholy, your ideas or your feelings in a “medical way”, it will not help you.
Alain Leroy had well planed his own end and it was tragically familiar , images of this world in a movie from 1963 (I´m not sure about this date) – He could not find a meaning for his life, the superficiality of his family and friends didn´t match with his philosophical view, he was away already from the social banalities.
The darkness of Alain Leroy misery lye’s behind every door (my point of view) . I know I´m always making movies X life comparison ,and maybe this is the easiest way for me to explain such a hypocrite society we´re part of.
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